I often joke about wearing cardigans because I’m a librarian and it’s kinda our lab coat. I also wear cardigans because I live in Scandinavia and let’s face it, it’s freezing most of the time. But quite often I wear cardigans even if the weather is mild – because they also sorta hide my upper arms.
I know I should practice what I preach about body positivity but we all have our hang ups, right? And I have tried coming to terms with my arms but I just hate them. Even when I lose weight (and they are obviously bigger than usual with the pregnancy weight) they are still flabby and rarely fit in sleeved dresses.
I am not looking for you to contradict or validate me. I rationally know I look just fine. But that’s the thing isn’t it? Our hang ups aren’t rational. If they were we wouldn’t be so insecure, we’d just stop feeling ugly and wrong and stop buying beauty crap and diet stuff we don’t need.
I could work out more. Sure I could. But frankly I don’t want to. I don’t enjoy it, I have tried, believe me I have tried. This is not about just finding the right type of exercise that I find fun. Because it’s just not for me. I hate it all. Yoga, running, fitness, weight training, I have tried it and I hate it. It’s boring even with audiobooks or music. So can I still complain if I’m not willing to actively try to change my physical appereance? Of course. I shouldn’t have to change – that’s the thing. I want to be happy with who I am now. Not who I could be in the future.