Well…I tried to de-blue my hair but it wasn’t as easy as I’d hoped. I am very much a “jump and hope for the best kinda gal” and actually the blue didn’t take the first time either. It was 3 times before it wasn’t patchy and kinda weirdly coloured so I wasn’t too surprised when the gray didn’t take. It IS less blue – and had I been a more patient person I would have let the blue wash out more. But I’m not. So I jumped and hoped for the best 😉
“Well, you could go to a real hair dresser, you know” – I could. But do you know how many books I could buy for the cost of that? Plus I haven’t found a hair dresser who would dare bleaching my hair for the last 10 years. It will break off. I know, I have done it. This is partly why I have never had long hair. I want to colour it and it just can’t take it. So I do it anyway, my hair gets dry and miserable and I regret it and fell ugly and then I repeat the process. Because I get bored.
When I said I didn’t think the blue hair went very well with my autumn wardrobe a lot told me I was wrong – but the thing is I don’t think it looks good. That’s not going to change because other people do… I find this very often on the Internet. You make a statement and people perceive it as a question or that the person needs to be reassured. But I don’t do that. I wouldn’t say “Urgh, I’m so fat” to make people contradict me to feel better. Partly because I’m not 14 (sorry, that was super mean to 14-year olds and I know there are plenty clever, nice 14-year olds out there) and partly because it’s a really annoying thing to do.
And I know plenty of people who just want to share this feeling, like “I hate my fat upperarms”. I am not saying this to make people tell me I have skinny upperarms – Because I don’t. Compared to my size I do have pretty damn big upperarms. I can’t wear a lot sleeved dresses because the sleeves aren’t wide enough. I am venting, I am telling all the people who look at me every day that I am not perfect, I have insecurities just like everyone else. The good response to this is: “Oh I know how you feel, I absolutely hate my thighs” or whatever. Trying to be nice, sweet as it is, doesn’t make the issue go away for me but saying: I know how you feel, makes it less significant: “I am not alone in disliking certain things about myself, in feeling insecure sometimes”. Saying I am wrong in feeling this way makes me feel worse, like my feelings or my taste doesn’t matter.
Dress – old from Sugarhill Boutique
Shoes – old from Modcloth
Bag and earrings – eBay
Belt – probably from another dress
My point is: You may think the blue hair with these colours look absolutely fine, great even. And that is good! Thank you so much. But if I don’t that is really all that matters. I won’t change my opinion because someone tells me I should. I don’t even believe you can do that. Maybe for a while but not in the long run. And nobody should. I know people who I think look great in wiggle dresses, but if they don’t think so, if they don’t feel comfortable then they shouldn’t wear them. Because the most important thing is to feel comfortable. I didn’t go all in and wore petticoats and all when I started out doing the retro fashion thing. Because I didn’t feel comfortable – and a lot of the time I still don’t. And I stopped for the most part posting pictures of it because I felt I was lying to you. I might take the pictures and then take off the petticoat if I was actually going out or if I wore it I didn’t feel right. I felt comfortable with the blue for a while, now I don’t. I think it clashes with the foxes and looks plain weird now. So I will change it…over time.
Because it seems I am stuck with faded blue for a while. Which is super annoying for an impatient person but I’ll just have to live with it 😉
On a completely different note – this was the dress that got me into blogging. It wasn’t mine at the time but I found a beautiful, red headed blogger on Tumblr The Joyful Fox with the best style I had ever seen. It was so autumnal and retro and I just loved it. I followed her for a while and then she wore this dress. And I knew I had to have it. I searched eBay and found one in my size. Much more expensive than the dresses I would usually purchase but I needed it. And Laura from The Joyful Fox, I wanted to be her – not in a creepy bodysnatcher way or her life is better than mine way. But I just loved her style and her personality. Later on we grew apart – I never actually talked to her, I’m just being super creepy now 😉 and I don’t even think she fashion blogs anymore. Or actually I stopped using Tumblr so much and moved on to IG which I found much more to my liking. I still exist sporadically on Tumblr though (here) – it’s mostly Doctor Who posts though 😉