…whoa really? But we don’t talk about sex, do we? It’s just something you’re allowed to have if you’re in a relationship. Right?
Why should my value as a person decrease based on how many penisses I have been in contact with? Why does my worth as a human being have anything to do with the male reproductional organ at all?
And yes, I will absolutely argue that it is worse if you’re a woman. We as a society worship the Madonna. The woman who can control her urges and who is demure. Well, why the hell should I be? I’m asking a whole lot of questions here and not giving a lot of answers, I know, but I just really want you to think about this for a second. We sexualize the body all the time, but we are not allowed to have actual sex without being judged. And even if you consider yourself an accepting, liberal person I bet you get a little twitch if a 30 year old woman tells you she has had sex with let’s say 60 men. If this was consensual sex and she’s fine with it and had a good time, why do you think that’s too many? Why does that matter?
When you’re reading a book or watching a movie where the characters have been alienated; they don’t think they are going to be together and they get together with other people and you are almost shouting: “Don’t do it! He/she loves you and if you have sex with that other person all will be lost”…because that’s often how we feel isn’t it? If you have sexual relations with someone else you are tainted. Your love isn’t pure.
Well, I’ll go ahead and say it. Love and sex is not the same thing. Society tells us, especially women, that we need to be in love to have sex. We need to make sure the relationship will last to have sex. The man will leave us if we put out (and put out, the fuck? I’m getting something out of this too. Why am I just a mean to his pleasure? And if you are, honey, you are doing it wrong) too quickly. Who will buy the cow if the milk is free? (Did you just call me a cow? And what exactly is the milk in this analogy?) And again the wording suggests it’s something I do for him, not something we do for each other.
Our virginity is precious. A dainty flower. We have no urges, no desire or if we do we better be in a relationship or want to be in one. Well, news flash, people. I do. I did. I couldn’t wait to get rid of my virginity. I lost it (again the vocalubary used to describe this, lost it? I ceased being a virgin, I didn’t bleeding loose anything.) to a guy I met at a train station. I went there on purpose hoping he would be there. I had seen him before and I thought he was kinda hot (in hindsight, not so much btw 😉 ). His parents were fortunately out of town and I had sex for the first time under a poster of Geri Halliwell. I don’t remember if it was bad or good. It just was. We dated for a couple of months (or weeks? Who knows, it was a long time ago). Then I figured perhaps he wasn’t that hot, and he called a menstruation pad a diaper which was pretty much a fucking turn off. I broke up with him over a pay phone in the local super market and giggled about the surrealism about the whole thing afterwards with my girlfriend. I didn’t love him, I wasn’t heart broken, I didn’t feel like I had lost anything. I carried myself with a new weight, a different pose. I think, I felt like a woman to be all cliche and gross. Or maybe not. Maybe I was the same and had just matured because of something else.
This feeling of sex being no big deal didn’t last. I started to notice how harshly people judged you if you expressed a desire to have sex or worse had it. Slut. Whore. Promiscuous. Strumpet. Tramp. Harlot. Hooker. Bimbo. Nympho. Floozy. Please take your pick. I will quote Tyrion Lannister here: “Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.”
Males and females alike will judge. But women receive the harshest judgement. If you hear people speaking up about it it will be: Why aren’t men judged the same?
I ask: Why is anyone judged at all?
Kathrine – hippie and harlot. Forever unashamed.