It is hard to explain someone elses relationsship with their body but in short I used to never eat, then I ate and worked out a lot, then I stopped working out but kept eating. I became rather manic about eating and food (again. It was like being a teenager once more and frankly I never cared for that). I chose to go to Rome because food…and I ate a lot too. Even though it was so hot I wasn’t really hungry – but it was Rome. When would I eat pizza in Rome again?? So I forced myself to eat. Which is an incredibly stupid thing to do no matter where you are.
The day we came home I started running, 3K, 5K, 7K…and then one night in October 13 I could just go on and I made it to 10K. I felt so awesome that I could that with my little short legs 🙂
Then tragedy found me (a friend died by choice) and I ran some more. Well, a lot more. And 2 months later I had to stop because I was losing too much weight too fast. I started getting dizzy when I ran (I ran 10K 3 times a week and sometimes I squeezed in a 5K as well) because I wasn’t eating enough to support the calorie loss. And I needed to finish my thesis. So I quit. It wasn’t hard. I run out of necessity not because I really like it. And some weight crept back during the summer. I’m sorta trying to get rid of that now. Although not really – I still really enjoy food and I’m lazy – but seeing this picture again kinda makes me want to go for a run. I know weight doesn’t really matter – as in if you’re happy, that’s what matters. But I wasn’t happy here (I mean I was happy because I was in Rome and there was pizza but I hated the way I looked in anything! And you won’t be seeing any #TBT posts on IG from that holiday)
One of the worst things is actually that I was that size when I started changing my style so I bought a lot of clothes that ended up being too big after just a few months. I have sold most of it but I did lose a lot of money on that. And some dresses I really miss but I hate wearing clothes that don’t fit me so they would just have lived in my wardrobe and never been used. I couldn’t do that to them 😉 Clothes should be worn – that is their purpose in life.